Dei, try again without English.
Dei, try again without English.
Dei,
“Which love song best represents the way you love?”
All four of us sink backwards into our dining chairs. Our chins raised as if to lift the question mark from crashing upon the dumplings. We think out loud. One of us declares Prince’s ‘Purple Rain’. One of us refuses to distill his loving into a soundtrack. One of us picks a Taylor Swift song, to our amusement. I sit with what is asked of me and realise this is one of those “first thought, best thought” moments. I caught myself flipping vigorously through the English love songs I knew by heart, I almost settled on Etta James’ “At Last” until I realised that it was not accurate. It did not truly encapsulate the way I love and therefore did not answer the question. More significantly, it was at this precise second that it dawned upon me. I command three languages. It is possible that the song which best aligns with my manner of loving is not in English. My turn arrives and the answer escapes my lips quicker than my ability to give it a second thought. I start with a preamble that covers the song’s origin, sufficient context and translation — as necessitated by an uncommon un-English choice. It is from a Tamil movie that did not age well. Madhavan is in it. The table folk do not know who Madhavan is. I continue to say that the movie is titled Minnale which means ‘lightning’ in English. The table ohhhs in comprehension of this one Tamil word. In this one song, I tell them, there is this one line:
“Un Peyar Solli Solli Ennaiyae Naan Marandaen”
I say your name again and again, until I have forgotten mine.
And that is the song that comes to mind when I think about the way I love. One of us lets out a wow. One of us utters a compliment. One of us asks a follow up question:
“Does that mean you feel like you lose a part of your self when you love someone?”
I say Yes. I say it is part of the process of loving, that I know how to do. I say Yes again. Don’t we all?
May your soup hold it’s warmth,
Melizarani
On repeat this week
As above, so below. Here is the song from the story:
My father said
“Singapore is a safe place, don’t have to worry”